Enfant Terrible

Maybe that’s what I am. My words and expressions slap people hard on the face. I don’t mince my words and neither do I euphemise them (well, only sometimes). But there are also times when nothing comes out of me or the things that I wanted to express weren’t quite the way I meant them to be.

That’s what got me thinking after exams. What do I do after exams? Freedom had been all laid out in front of me, but I didn’t dare savour it. Because I know once my busy and stressful days are over, my real life would’ve been stripped bare, and the harsh reality will dawn on me.

What will be waiting for me after exams?

There’s nothing left in me, and there is nothing for me.

This is the way life has been for me.  But I really don’t want things to continue like this.

Freak, why can’t I just be normal? WHY?!!

Why can’t I be like everyone else; giggly, catching up on latest gossips, having tons to say, having people talk crap to me…

Maybe I’m just not sensitive enough to people’s feelings? I’m not responsive enough? Too self-centred?



About Kimono Party Girl

I was born and bred in Singapore for the first 20 years of my life, and then I decided that even after flying all over the world as a flight attendant, life is still too boring. So, in search of more adventure and add spice to my life, I quit my job, packed up, and left for Japan - which is, to me, the promised land. I've always been fascinated with Japan ever since I was 8, thanks to Ayumi Hamasaki, aka the Britney Spears of Japan. She's the first J-pop singer that I have been obsessed with, and my first contact with the Japanese language was through her lyrics. Yup, I first learned my Hiragana from her song 'I am'. But what really sealed the deal was my first trip to Japan in 2010. The fresh air, the beautiful cherry blossoms, the endless fast fashion trends and the awesome food was what made Japan the land of my dreams, and it had since become my goal to one day live, work and party in Japan. So after working like a horse as a flight attendant for 2 years and saving up a decent amount, I made a big leap of faith and moved to the land of the rising sun. I have studied one year of Japanese and two years of graphic design. Currently, I'm in the midst of shukatsu (就活 - job hunting). Wish me luck!
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