I never like the end of the year. I mean, I never like the end of anything. I’m a broken record – I play the same songs over and over again because I don’t ever want them to end. I have unusually long relationships even if I don’t like the guy, just because I don’t want to end it.
And the end of the year usually means another wasted year passed by without anything done.
Fair enough, I believe this is the year of my life that is my turning point. Until July 30th, my life has been full of ups and downs. Went to Japan for the first time in March. Seen snow there for the first time. Experienced cold weather for the first time. Broke up for the first time with my first boyfriend. Took a detour and ended up in the airline instead of the university. Things stabilised (too much) after I started flying. Nicely put, the later phase of the year was all peace and serenity. Sadly put, it’s just plain loneliness.
Perhaps I’m still hoping for something to happen. But of course, nothing will happen if I don’t do anything. The thing is, I don’t even know how to make things happen.
I don’t need a new year resolution because it has been the same since 2005.
2005 – Live in Japan
2006 – Live in Japan
2007 – Live in Japan
2008 – Live in Japan
2009 – Live in Japan
2010 – Live in Japan
2011 – Live in Japan
Call me a Japanophile or whatever, but my new year resolution will not change. I don’t want to live to regret one day and mope over why I hadn’t made that move to the land of the rising sun, even if I have every reason or excuse to not go there. Singapore is a perfectly fine country (no pun intended, I really meant it as ‘good’), with my family and friends here. I just need a change of environment, change of language, change of culture, and a change of myself.
I may not be able to sing, to draw, to take pictures, to speak or write well, to socialise, or even show enough confidence nor intelligence. I may not even have enough money. But I must still go to Japan. That way I can feel like my life is complete.