終わったの???

I never like the end of the year. I mean, I never like the end of anything. I’m a broken record – I play the same songs over and over again because I don’t ever want them to end. I have unusually long relationships even if I don’t like the guy, just because I don’t want to end it.

And the end of the year usually means another wasted year passed by without anything done.

Fair enough, I believe this is the year of my life that is my turning point. Until July 30th, my life has been full of ups and downs. Went to Japan for the first time in March. Seen snow there for the first time. Experienced cold weather for the first time. Broke up for the first time with my first boyfriend. Took a detour and ended up in the airline instead of the university. Things stabilised (too much) after I started flying. Nicely put, the later phase of the year was all peace and serenity. Sadly put, it’s just plain loneliness.

Perhaps I’m still hoping for something to happen. But of course, nothing will happen if I don’t do anything. The thing is, I don’t even know how to make things happen.

I don’t need a new year resolution because it has been the same since 2005.

2005 – Live in Japan

2006 – Live in Japan

2007 – Live in Japan

2008 – Live in Japan

2009 – Live in Japan

2010 – Live in Japan

2011 – Live in Japan

Call me a Japanophile or whatever, but my new year resolution will not change. I don’t want to live to regret one day and mope over why I hadn’t made that move to the land of the rising sun, even if I have every reason or excuse to not go there. Singapore is a perfectly fine country (no pun intended, I really meant it as ‘good’), with my family and friends here. I just need a change of environment, change of language, change of culture, and a change of myself.

I may not be able to sing, to draw, to take pictures, to speak or write well, to socialise, or even show enough confidence nor intelligence. I may not even have enough money. But I must still go to Japan. That way I can feel like my life is complete.

 

 

 

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About Kimono Party Girl

I was born and bred in Singapore for the first 20 years of my life, and then I decided that even after flying all over the world as a flight attendant, life is still too boring. So, in search of more adventure and add spice to my life, I quit my job, packed up, and left for Japan - which is, to me, the promised land. I've always been fascinated with Japan ever since I was 8, thanks to Ayumi Hamasaki, aka the Britney Spears of Japan. She's the first J-pop singer that I have been obsessed with, and my first contact with the Japanese language was through her lyrics. Yup, I first learned my Hiragana from her song 'I am'. But what really sealed the deal was my first trip to Japan in 2010. The fresh air, the beautiful cherry blossoms, the endless fast fashion trends and the awesome food was what made Japan the land of my dreams, and it had since become my goal to one day live, work and party in Japan. So after working like a horse as a flight attendant for 2 years and saving up a decent amount, I made a big leap of faith and moved to the land of the rising sun. I have studied one year of Japanese and two years of graphic design. Currently, I'm in the midst of shukatsu (就活 - job hunting). Wish me luck!
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