My last night here with….

So this is it. I totally didn’t expect that I would feel this way. I thought I would be excited. Eager to leave. Happy that my dreams are coming true.

But reality is a bitch, and migration is a chore.

I didn’t expect that leaving a place that I don’t like would be such an agony. Migration is painful. Especially when there are already bonds and friendships formed. Maybe I’m just really scared, that I might not make it to my dormitory (I have no idea why I have this recurring horrifying thought). I’m afraid I might not make friends. I’m afraid nobody likes me. I’m afraid I will be broke. I’m afraid I will not like my new lifestyle. I’m afraid I will not do well in school. I’m afraid, I’m afraid….

Fuck this shit man.

All these worries are unfounded for. I know it, and I have reassured myself countless times.

But of course, leaving for the unknown is never easy, and I believe it is only human to feel sad when leaving their loved ones behind.

I wonder how so many did it. To move to another country requires a lot of time, effort and some money. And even more courage is needed.

I’m grateful to know that at least I will be missed. As long as my friends and family still remember me, I am glad.

And I will be happy. In a foreign land, which I will call home now.

 

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About Kimono Party Girl

I was born and bred in Singapore for the first 20 years of my life, and then I decided that even after flying all over the world as a flight attendant, life is still too boring. So, in search of more adventure and add spice to my life, I quit my job, packed up, and left for Japan - which is, to me, the promised land. I've always been fascinated with Japan ever since I was 8, thanks to Ayumi Hamasaki, aka the Britney Spears of Japan. She's the first J-pop singer that I have been obsessed with, and my first contact with the Japanese language was through her lyrics. Yup, I first learned my Hiragana from her song 'I am'. But what really sealed the deal was my first trip to Japan in 2010. The fresh air, the beautiful cherry blossoms, the endless fast fashion trends and the awesome food was what made Japan the land of my dreams, and it had since become my goal to one day live, work and party in Japan. So after working like a horse as a flight attendant for 2 years and saving up a decent amount, I made a big leap of faith and moved to the land of the rising sun. I have studied one year of Japanese and two years of graphic design. Currently, I'm in the midst of shukatsu (就活 - job hunting). Wish me luck!
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