Just came back from a five-day holiday in Singapore!! Wheeeee!!! Nah. I don’t know why but I’m so depressed.
I wasn’t this sad when I came back from Singapore last year December. I’m so down now that if I could hop onto the next plane back to Singapore I would (I can’t because I’ve got work scheduled and internship around the corner).
Last year when I went back to Singapore I missed the food more than anything else (Of course I also missed my family and friends, but primary urges took over lol). Ok, I was back for two weeks and had pretty much eaten, seen and done everything that I wanted so I kind of had enough of Singapore already so I wanted to go back to Japan desperately. I also went alone so I missed ze boyfriend a lot and wanted to run back to his arms badly (pardon the cheeziness).
Maybe that’s why now I miss Singapore more because this time, ze boyfriend went with me so I don’t miss him (duh).
But is it really just that? I don’t know.
I feel like the loneliness that I had felt during the first 3 months in Japan had come rushing back. It’s terrible. I have to really go back again soon, if not I will just be so down and depressed for the rest of the year.
I think maybe because my parents’ expressions made me felt so sad. I’m sure they were happy to see me, of course, but it’s just, so sad. Like they are trying their best to smile but they are really crying inside. I guess it’s really heartbreaking for them because they already know that I’m never going to come back to Singapore to live anymore. I’m only going to come back as a tourist. And as traditional Chinese parents, I guess their greatest wish is for all of us to be together as a family forever and ever. But how to let them know that I’m always thinking of them – in fact, putting them first before myself when planning for anything – and that distance doesn’t matter? And what’s the point of all of us being together when I can’t be economically productive and contribute to my family and society (I know i will just laze off and not work hard if I’m back at home).
Ok, moping aside, I will put up post on my holiday trip back home soon! See ya! Ciao! Mata ne!