This has been bugging me all day so let me just get this out of my chest!
Ok in school I usually hang out with this girl whom I suspect might be a little bit socially inept or a little too individualistic for her own good.
This morning we were doing our work in class as usual. It’s lesson time but because we were given an assignment to work on, the teacher just let us do our stuff and will only come around if we encounter any problems.
So we were working on designing a flyer and my friend got stuck with something. The program wouldn’t do exactly what she wanted and she asked for my help. So I gave her a suggestion (which is something I had done when I was in a similar situation), and she was like ‘Why? Why do you do that?!’ like as if it was the most ridiculous thing ever. And I explained to her why, but she wasn’t convinced. She got agitated and went like ‘if I can’t get it right I want to know why, so that I can avoid this mistake in the future. You have to explain to me why I have to do that. I’m not gonna do what you said because it won’t help me understand why.’ Ok, I admire her passion for wanting to understand the technical stuff and basics, but I didn’t get why she had to be so agitated. We argued for a while and then she went on to Google her solution.
This is not the first time she has done that. My way of operating the software is obviously different from hers, and if she asks for my advice, I’d of course give her my ideas and suggestions. If she couldn’t accept it, fine, let her Google all she wants. I didn’t like it that she asked me for help – and I took the time to find a solution with her even though I was busy myself – and then snapped at me whenever she didn’t like what I offered.
And then she would ask me again the next time instead of Mr. Google. She never learns.
We can all agree to disagree, and attack each other’s argument, but I find it disdainful that she couldn’t even distinguish between attacking the comment/opinion/argument and attacking the person her/himself. Furthermore, it wasn’t an opinion or argument that I offered, but a suggestion. So much for trying to be helpful.
There were cases where she asked me for help on stuff other than software problems, and she wouldn’t believe me and sought answers from other sources. And then she would get different answers and be like ‘thank god I didn’t believe you.’ THEN WHY ASK ME IN THE FIRST PLACE DAMMIT. It’s one thing when you politely point out to people like ‘oh what you told me was wrong, this is what I found out, just to let you know’ so that they don’t make mistakes, but to just laugh at people like ‘HA! You’re wrong! I was right to not believe you!’ is just downright immature and socially awkward.
But above all else, what I hate most is not being able to say what I feel exactly on the spot whenever she snapped at me like that. I should’ve been able to tell her off and say firmly ‘Look, you asked me for help, and I gave you a suggestion. If you didn’t like it, you don’t have to snap at me like that. Go google or ask other people for solutions.’
I guess I was so afraid of getting too personal that I suppressed my own feelings and tried to argue logically. But it was never about logic to begin with. We were just arguing over nothing, and whatever we argued over with wasn’t even worth our time.
…but sometimes I still wonder, even though she’s quite an easy-going person, what is it about her upbringing that ‘s making her so goddamn self-centred??!!